The full collection (please
A new twist on an old scam
The latest additions to my collection:
Typo in a local community weekly newspaper, in the
Police Blotter section:
At 3:14 a.m., a man was observed operating a vehicle
in an erotic manner.
The Alberta Government announced approval for overnight
stays in a particular private medical clinic. The announcement was accompanied
by several PDF files, one of which was the minister's criteria for assessing
these kinds of requests. The file was named
[Jon D. Brehaut]
Typo in a recipe transcription:
Stew for 5 minutes, then add the tomatoes, their
juice and the sock.
Further down in the same recipe:
Or make a mound of rice in each owl and spoon the
soup around it.
From the June 2002 issue of Vintages, the
LCBO's monthly magazine of wine news and reviews:
Château Montelena is the winery that started the
California wine craze when they shocked the vinous world by winning
the legendary 1976 blinding tasting in Paris.
[I'll bet they were shocked (as they groped their
way to the door!). Diana Tyndale]
From a blurb in the program for an event honouring
...his dog-eared perseverance...
[ Don't you smile at the mental image that conjures?
On the packaging for a metal odor-removing disc from
Efficient economical unusable
Headline from the Globe and Mail online:
Talks cancelled after suicide bombing re-scheduled
following Palestinian leader's denunciation of terror
[So, what was rescheduled? The talks? Or the suicide
bombing? Warren Harbeck]
From an ad in Time magazine:
Istanbul is a city of dozens of uncounted mysteries.
From a box for an office appliance:
[I don't plan on shredding many hands, though I think
it will work well on paper when I turn the handle. Dawn Hunter]
The nutrition information from a 120 gram package
of Nong Shim Neoguri Udon:
[Do you suppose I should see a doctor before
eating that much salt? James Harbeck]
From a health article:
women of childbearing potential should bake reliable
birth control methods
[Hmmm... I guess this would be the Martha Stewart
method. Trish Rawn]
Instructions for a baking contest:
Cover your baking with plastic wrap and indicate
your name (and if it contains nuts).
[Cheri (nuts) Frazer]
Sign on an otherwise unmarked door down a corridor
in a small Toronto threatre:
DO NOT ENTER WHEN DOOR IS CLOSED
Headline from a CP article in the Calgary Herald:
to guard PM
[After I wondered which PM had been charge
with drug dealing, I read
the first sentence of the article:]
A Halifax RCMP officer charged with drug trafficking
was headed to Ottawa to become a bodyguard for the prime minister before
he was arrested, a TV news program reported Tuesday night.
[By then I knew who had been charged with drug dealing,
but I had to read on to be sure no prime minister had been arrested.
Topic for a meeting of the Alberta Association for
Teachers of ESL:
Enhancing Stress in the ESL Classroom.
From a health news article:
Research has shown that at least half of the time
couples have difficulty conceiving, a male component is involved.
Headline in a Perth, Ontario, newspaper:
Perth's water continues to pass
A hand-written ad for a seminar at a psychology conference:
"Neurotic conflict resolution by eating disordered
[So far as I know this methodology has not caught
on widely. Michael Rowan]
The washing directions on the hang-tag of a scarf:
[I can almost envision the Korean manufacturer on
a bad phone line to his cousin in the States confirming what should
go on the tag: "What Separately? M. Wlochal]
Subject line of a spam:
Attract Men with Bigger Breasts!
[Not usually what I look
for in a man... Riça Night]
Subject line of a spam advertising toner for printers:
From a packet of Chinese snacks:
To Agitate Family
[Actually, in Chinese, it means that this snack will
bring excitement to anybody who eats it. Olyvia Wangsa]
Further submissions are invited. Please send them